It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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