wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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