I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
