whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
