Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sext me about skeletons
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
