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with your own penis?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
