ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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