By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
