I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize