i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
