Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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