I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
