DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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