I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
