who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I heard we made out
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
