Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
