lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
