No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
