Will you blow on my dice?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
