if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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