You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
