he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
