woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize