I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
