More tranny stories later!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
