he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
