Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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