In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
