Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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