Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
