this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
