so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize