It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
