nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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