I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
