So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
