wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
