yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
