Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
