so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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