You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
