I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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