I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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