didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Small penises have feelings too.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
