talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
