i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize