Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We have started to decorate penises.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
