thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
