you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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