i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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