so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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