pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
