are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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