Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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