I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There's always time for handjobs
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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