This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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