You work out of a Hotel?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
