you win again, gameday.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
