i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
