I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
