We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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