just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Boobs are out for the taking
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
